


Creeper

by adorkablephil (kimberly_a)



Series: Creeper Universe [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Phan, Awkwardness, First Meetings, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-27 18:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10037651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimberly_a/pseuds/adorkablephil
Summary: Dan and Phil meet for the first time in 2009 and Phil worries that he seems like some sort of creepy internet predator (sort of 3 one-shots that can be read together to form a larger story)





	1. Manchester Piccadilly to Starbucks

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the "AmazingDan" video (even though that was shot in 2010), because Dan seems so easily embarrassed, and yet so saucy at the same time. Specifically, his face when Phil says, "Penis, Dan. Penis penis penis." He seems like this intriguing blend of provocative and innocent.
> 
> Most fics about 2009 phan are from Dan's POV, and I tried to think what it must have been like from Phil's perspective.

Phil hunches his shoulders a bit, not exactly hiding behind a pillar but just standing … really **close** to a pillar. And maybe a little behind it. Just a bit. But definitely not hiding. Definitely not hiding like some creeper waiting to meet up with a teenage boy he met on the Internet.

He’s never done this before, actually arranging to meet one of his subscribers in real life. Dan has become more than just a subscriber to him over the past few months, of course, but he can’t deny that the … relationship? friendship? … began with Dan stalking his videos and hounding him on Twitter like so many other subscribers had done before. Phil’s had plenty of admirers as his subscriber base grew over the years, and a lot of them flirted with him, some outright propositioned him, but he was never tempted to take any of them up on their offers.

It’s just … Dan is … different.

But Phil can’t deny the power imbalance. He knows he’s a well-known personality, even if only in a limited little sphere of the Internet. His YouTube channel has thousands of subscribers. **Tens** of thousands. He gets fan mail. Lots of it. Weird as it sounds to him sometimes, he has … fans.

And Dan is one of them.

And he’s only 18.

And Phil, AmazingPhil from the Internet, has invited this teenage fan to come stay at his house. Overnight. For three days. While his parents are away.

Yeah, it sounds creepy. Which makes him incredibly self-conscious. What in the world do Dan’s parents think about this? Phil hasn’t asked, because he doesn’t want to mess this up.

Because, despite the power imbalance, he’s really excited and nervous to meet Dan.

Because while he may be YouTube’s AmazingPhil, Dan is just … amazing. Their Skype calls have gotten flirtier and flirtier these past few weeks. Dan has always been a tease, right from the start. He knows how gorgeous he is, and he purposely posts selfies with his neck arched just so, his eyelids lowered as if he’s just begging for someone to grab him by the hips and…

But he’s 18. Phil keeps reminding himself of that. Okay, so maybe some of their Skype calls have gotten a bit racy, maybe Dan has been a bit provocative, maybe they’ve talked a bit about things that could happen this weekend, but Phil doesn’t want to push him.

After all, Dan may decide that Phil Lester isn’t as exciting as AmazingPhil. He might not be so interested when he sees Phil without a camera lens between them.

And that’s what’s making him most nervous, because he really tried not to get emotionally invested in this whole thing with Dan, but somehow it happened anyway. Somewhere along the way, he started really liking this smart, brash, outspoken, sarcastic, funny kid. They haven’t even met yet, and Phil just desperately wants Dan to like him. He wants Dan to step off the train and see him and smile and for everything to be just as comfortable as it is on Skype, for them to just fall together like that’s where they belong. He wants Dan to belong to him, and to **want** to belong to him. And he wants to belong to Dan, too. He wants Dan to want him, to want them to be together. And he’s desperately afraid that Dan is going to change his mind when he finally meets the real Phil Lester in the train station.

He’s got a crush, he realizes. He’s 22 years old, and he has a crush on this boy.

Dan’s train begins pulling into the station and sets Phil’s heart rate racing. It’s pulling to a stop. The doors are opening. People are beginning to stream out onto the platform. One of them is going to be Dan.

Phil steels his nerve and takes a step away from his protective pillar, making himself a bit more visible. He wore one of his brightest, most colorful shirts so that he would be easy to spot in a crowd. He chews on his lip, eyes flitting anxiously across the faces around him. His fingers tangle nervously into the hem of his shirt, twisting and pulling at the fabric.

And then suddenly Dan is there, standing right in front of him, a messenger bag slung across his body and a duffle bag in one hand. His hair isn’t quite as dark as Phil had thought it would be—it has light brown highlights visible in the sun streaming through the train station windows. His eyes are even more beautiful than Phil had imagined, their color far more vivid than the word “brown” could ever convey, more than Skype could ever do justice to.

Phil realizes he’s been staring. And not saying anything. He stammers out, “Dan! Dan! It’s you! You’re here!” And then he belatedly opens his arms for a hug, as he always does when greeting someone. Even just random fans who recognize him on the street get warm Phil hugs. But Dan hesitates, which makes Phil’s stomach clench. Dan lowers his eyes, looking down at his feet, then leans in for an awkward hug with only one arm. Phil doesn’t hug as warmly as he usually would, or as long as he wants to, because he can tell that Dan isn’t comfortable.

It’s like Phil’s worst nightmare. He was right. Dan is disappointed.

He lets Dan go and steps away to make sure he isn’t crowding the boy and freaking him out. He’s feeling more like a creepy Internet predator now, because it sort of seems like Dan doesn’t want to be here. And Dan isn’t saying anything, which is only making it worse.

“Um,” Phil begins awkwardly, “how was the train?” He reaches a hand toward Dan’s duffel bag, but Dan ignores the silent offer, clenching the straps so tightly his knuckles are white.

Dan scuffs a shoe against the ground and looks away, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck and shrugging. “It was all right, I guess.” Then he doesn’t say anything more, still not meeting Phil’s eyes.

Phil rapidly adjusts his expectations for the weekend. Maybe Dan won’t even want to stay tonight. Maybe he’ll want to catch the train home today, instead. Does he even want to leave the train station with Phil? Or should Phil just leave him here so he can escape this obvious horrible mistake as soon as possible?

“Is there a Starbucks around here?” Dan’s voice cuts into Phil’s racing thoughts. He certainly doesn’t sound flirty now, just very young and hesitant. “I could use some coffee.”

Phil smiles and nods, eager to please. “We can walk from here. Do you want me to take your bag?” He reaches a hand toward the duffle again and Dan lets him take it, which makes Phil ridiculously happy.

The walk to Starbucks is painfully awkward. Phil keeps trying to start conversations, but Dan is withdrawn and mostly monosyllabic. Phil notices himself nervously slipping into the zany AmazingPhil persona, which makes him feel a little less vulnerable to this slow motion crash and burn. After a few failed attempts to get Dan talking, he just starts telling a story about a weird woman he saw in the train station while he was waiting.

They place their order at Starbucks—the same order, in fact, which makes them chuckle and breaks the tension for a moment—then sit down with their drinks. A bubble of silence seems to encase them as the busy coffee shop bustles around them. Dan stares into his caramel macchiato and stirs it. Phil clears his throat nervously and Dan glances up at him through his lashes.

“This is so surreal,” Dan mutters, as if to himself.

“What’s surreal?” Phil asks, just glad that Dan has initiated a conversation topic.

Dan looks at him properly, but still not quite meeting his eyes, and says wonderingly, “I’m sitting in a Starbucks with AmazingPhil.”

Phil immediately replies, “You’re sitting in a Starbucks with your friend Phil from Skype.”

Dan meets his eyes now, and he smiles properly for the first time since he first stood in front of Phil on the train station platform. Dimples appear in his cheeks.

Phil blurts out, “God, you’re even prettier in person.” Then he blushes, afraid that he’s gone too far, that he’ll scare Dan off, that he’s being a predatory creeper.

Dan smiles wider and ducks his head, seeming embarrassed. He’s staring fixedly into his macchiato when he says quietly, “Your eyes are even nicer than I thought.” He glances up through his lashes again.

Phil begins to wonder if he’s been misreading Dan. He’s young. He’s meeting someone—a guy he’s been flirting with pretty outrageously—in person for the first time. Maybe he’s just … nervous? Shy? He decides to take a chance. “I’ve been really nervous about meeting you.”

Dan’s head comes up and his eyes are wide. “Really? Why?”

Phil shrugs awkwardly. “Because I like you. And I wasn’t sure if you were going to like me.”

Dan’s mouth drops open slightly, then he stammers, “I was worried about the same thing!”

Phil sighs with relief. “Can we start this all over again?” He stands up and holds his arms open for a hug.

Dan stands immediately and steps into his arms, and suddenly they’re hugging each other tight in the middle of a busy Starbucks in downtown Manchester. Dan laughs, and he sounds happy. Phil squeezes him a little tighter. “Can’t … breathe…” Dan quips, and Phil loosens his hold. Dan steps away slightly and Phil lets his arms fall to his sides. Dan’s arms are still around his neck, though, when he says, “I wanted to do that at the train station, but I was too nervous.” Then he finally lets go, and they sit back down.

Phil can’t wipe the smile off his face, and he’s just gazing at Dan’s beautiful face unabashedly now. Dan keeps looking at him, then smiling shyly and glancing away. It’s adorable. He seemed so confident on Twitter and Skype, and now he’s just this insecure little bundle of … cute. It’s not what Phil had expected, but he loves it just the same.

“Your eyes are prettier than I expected, too,” he flirts, hoping that Dan will return in kind.

Dan does that thing again, that thing where he looks up at Phil through his lashes, and his smile is smaller now, like a private thing between the two of them. “I’m so happy right now.” He takes a deep breath and lets it out with a whoosh. “I can’t believe I’m here! I can’t believe **you’re** here!” His grin widens again. “This is … amazing. No pun intended.” They both laugh. And suddenly they’re just Dan and Phil again, like they were on Skype, and they know each other and they aren’t strangers meeting for the first time. They smile at each other without reservation.

“I’m really glad to meet you, Dan Howell,” Phil says.

“I’m really glad to meet you, Phil Lester,” Dan replies.

And they each take a sip of their matching drinks and smile in the steam rising from their mugs.


	2. The First Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil’s first night together doesn’t go quite as either had imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was intended to be a one-shot, but that first chapter just was begging me to continue ... so this happened.

****They sit side by side on the floor in Phil’s bedroom. The only light is from the street lamp down the road, shining distantly in through the window. Dan said he was afraid of the dark, but that he wasn’t afraid as long as Phil was with him, and Phil’s dimly lit bedroom feels cozy and intimate. The bed would be **too** intimate right now, but sitting on the floor together, talking in hushed tones despite the emptiness of the house, is perfect.

Like the day, which had been perfect as well.

To be honest, the Sky Bar was a little out of Phil’s extremely limited price range, but he knew Dan would love it, and he did, so it was worth it. It was the grand finale for their first day together, and it had definitely been grand. Phil had never been there before, himself, and he’d been impressed and a little intimidated by the poshness, but Dan had been transfixed. He’d stared round at the incredible city view like a little kid, but only about half the time. The other half of the time, he stared at Phil instead, looking just as fascinated. And Phil couldn’t look away.

Manchester is a pretty big city, but it isn’t London, and gay couples don’t tend to openly express affection in public. Gay bashings are not unheard of. Not to mention, Phil didn’t want to make Dan uncomfortable by drawing disapproving stares in such a fancy place, so as they gazed out over the lights of the city he restrained himself from reaching out to take Dan’s hand, no matter how much he wanted to.

But no one is watching them now, no one can disapprove, and so he reaches beside him and tentatively rests his hand on Dan’s on the bedroom carpet. Dan immediately turns his hand over and interlaces his fingers with Phil’s. The speed of his response is gratifying. Phil’s starting to accept that maybe Dan is as smitten as he is.

The first rush of mutual infatuation is dizzying.

“I’ve never held hands with a guy before,” Dan confides in hushed tones.

In fact, Phil has been dying to hold Dan’s hand or kiss him all day, but Dan seemed a bit skittish whenever Phil got too close, so he gave the boy some space and just basked in the brilliance of his smiles. Now Dan’s hesitancy makes more sense.

“How do you like it so far?” Phil asks, giving his fingers a little squeeze.

He sees Dan duck his head in what Phil has learned to interpret as mild embarrassment, and Dan mumbles, “It’s … good.”

Phil watches his face in the diffuse light from the distant streetlamp and feels like maybe what he feels isn’t just a crush anymore, now that he’s had a whole day to get to know how perfect and sweet Dan is in real life. But he tries to hold himself back, because that kind of hasty thinking could be dangerous to his heart. He lets a silence stretch between them.

“You’re different than I expected,” Dan says, making Phil wonder for a second whether he’s a mind reader.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You’re … quieter. Calmer. I mean, I already knew you were different on Skype than in your videos, but … you’re even more different in real life.” Dan sounds pensive.

“Bad different?” Phil waits anxiously for Dan’s reply.

“Just different different. I like you on Skype, and I like you in person. And I like your videos, of course. But when you’re just on my computer screen, I can’t do this,” and he squeezes Phil’s hand a little. Then he says quietly, “And I like how you look at me.” He gazes down at his knees, a very slight curve to his lips.

“How do I look at you?” Phil is liking this conversation, because it’s the first time since he arrived that Dan has opened up about what’s going on between them. Phil wants to keep him talking.

Dan hesitates, then whispers, “Like I’m special.”

Phil’s heart breaks a little bit, because Dan sounds so surprised and maybe a little sad. Dan had a girlfriend for three years! Didn’t she look at him like he was special?

“You **are** special, Dan. You’re the specialest person I’ve ever met.” Phil dares to raise their linked hands and kiss Dan’s knuckles.

Dan is quiet a long time. “Even though I haven’t followed through on … you know … all that stuff I said on Skype?” He sounds actually scared.

Phil lets go of his hand to put his arm around Dan’s narrow shoulders reassuringly. “I like you on Skype, and I like you in person. But on Skype I can’t do this,” and he squeezes gently.

Dan laughs a little, then says nervously, “It’s just easier in front of a camera. Acting confident, I mean.  Flirting like that. I’m not really that confident in real life. I’m actually really awkward.” He chuckles, his shoulders tense under Phil’s arm. “You probably noticed.”

Phil’s heart breaks a little more. It’s true that after all the blatant innuendos and racy hints on Skype he’d expected Dan to be different, but this conversation is only making him fall faster. He’d thought maybe they’d have a hot weekend of at least making out, maybe more if Dan was up for it, but now he just wants to hold this gentle, vulnerable boy and show him how unique and extraordinary he is. “You’re perfect,” he insists, and dares to kiss Dan’s cheek, just the slightest brush of his lips against that adorable baby face.

He hears Dan’s intake of breath, but his shoulders have relaxed a bit, so that must have been okay.

“Your first kiss from a boy?” Phil asks gently.

He can see Dan’s head nod. Then his shoulders hunch and he wraps his arms around his skinny knees. “It’s not that I don’t want to … you know, I was really looking forward to getting here and just … jumping on you … because I really like you and you’re really hot and everything … but I just … I don’t know. I’m scared I’ll do something wrong. And you won’t like me anymore.” He sounds so lost and frightened, and all Phil wants is to make him feel better. It’s like when Dan was so afraid to upload his videos, and Phil had to convince him that they were good enough. Now he wants to convince Dan that **he** is good enough. Just the way he is.

“If we don’t do anything more than this all weekend, I’ll still like you, Dan. I promise. No jumping of any kind required.” He tries to lighten the mood a bit.

Dan snorts quietly, then says, “I was really looking forward to the jumping, actually.” His voice is lighter now, too. Phil hears a bit of that Skype flirtiness in it. “I’m kind of disappointed.”

They don’t say anything more for a while, and Phil’s so happy that Dan was comfortable enough to flirt that he doesn’t want to push things too far and make him nervous again.

Eventually, Phil thinks maybe something less intense might be in order, so he breaks the silence to ask, “Want to watch a movie? Or play Donkey Kong or something?”

“I think I just want to go to bed,” Dan replies, and suddenly Phil feels like a creepy Internet predator again. When they were teasing each other on Skype yesterday, he’d thought Dan was coming here for a weekend of at least mild messing around. He’d assumed they’d both be sleeping in his bed, together. Now, though, that seems like way too much.

“Okay,” he replies, trying to inject cheer into his voice. He’d been hoping to get to spend more time with Dan tonight, but he reminds himself that they have all day tomorrow. “You can have my bed. My brother won’t mind if I sleep in his room.”

Dan abruptly turns to face him, causing Phil’s arm to slide off his shoulders. “You don’t want to … I mean … I sort of thought we would both be in your bed, that you’d stay here with me.”

“We can leave the light on in the hall if you want, and keep the door open so it isn’t completely dark in here,” Phil offers.

Dan shakes his head impatiently. “It isn’t about the dark. It’s about … I just want you to stay with me. I want to be close to you.” He hesitates a moment. “If that’s okay.”

Phil smiles and wraps his arms around Dan, which is a bit awkward with the way they’re sitting. He kisses Dan’s hair and says happily, “Of course it’s okay. I’d like that a lot. I just didn’t want you to feel like I was … I don’t know … going to molest you or something.” He laughs awkwardly.

Dan doesn’t reply, and Phil guesses that’s he’s embarrassed. By what, Phil isn’t exactly sure, and he doesn’t want to pursue the topic any further and maybe make things even more uncomfortable for the boy, so he tries to make his voice as casual and reassuring as possible when he says, “Want to get changed into our pyjamas?”

Dan ducks his head so that his forehead nearly touches Phil’s shoulder. He mumbles something Phil doesn’t catch. “What was that?” Phil asks.

Dan raises his head and sounds humiliated as he stammers, “I was so … I was going to jump on you, like I said … I was really looking forward to it … and I didn’t think … I mean…” and Phil suddenly understands.

“You didn’t bring any pyjamas.” The idea actually makes him feel a little better, less like a creeper. Dan wanted the sexy weekend as much as he did—he just wasn’t as confident in reality as he’d been in his imagination. Phil liked the fact that Dan had been imagining it, though … that he’d been filled with anticipation when he packed his bag and opted not to include anything to wear to bed. It turns him on a little, and he quickly reins in his own imagination and sternly tells his body to calm the fuck down.

Dan shakes his head, and even in the dim light Phil can see that his cheeks are pink.

“I have some you can borrow,” Phil offers, but Dan shakes his head again.

“I could just sleep in my boxers. If that’s okay, I mean.”

Phil imagines sleeping **platonically** all night in the same bed with Dan wearing nothing but boxers and wants to groan out loud but contains himself. “Whatever you want,” he replies carefully.

Dan stands up, his eyes on Phil’s, and slowly pulls off his t-shirt. The light from the window shines on his bare chest. Phil gulps. He stands and turns to his bureau, grabbing the first pair of pyjama pants he sees and a random t-shirt. “I’ll change in the bathroom,” he says quickly and flees, closing the bedroom door behind him.

In the bathroom, he gives himself a stern talking to. He acknowledges that he’s going to get turned on, admits that he already is, but determines that he is absolutely **not** going to make any moves on Dan. He desperately hopes he doesn’t do any sleep-groping. He changes into his pyjamas quickly and takes out his contacts. He brushes his teeth and then stares at himself in the mirror. “You can do this,” he says to his reflection. “You can sleep next to a gorgeous boy who’s been working you up for weeks, and you can leave him alone. You can. You will.” He lets out a little groan of frustration and scrubs his hands over his face.

He opens the bathroom door and finds Dan standing in the hallway in nothing but a pair of Sonic boxer briefs. There’s a lot of smooth, tanned skin visible. Holy mother of… Clearly the universe is punishing Phil for something. Dan’s face is bright pink, and he’s holding a toiletry bag. “I just need to … brush my teeth and stuff.”

Phil jumps as if scalded and steps out of the bathroom doorway. “Of course. Bathroom’s all yours,” he babbles, and then practically runs to the bedroom. Once there, he turns on the light so Dan will be able to see when he comes in, then pulls back the duvet and climbs into bed, scooting to the far edge. The bed isn’t very big, and he doesn’t want to crowd Dan. He lies on his side, facing the door, waiting for Dan to appear, but it takes a while. He decides Dan must be giving himself a little talk in the bathroom, too. It’s a weird situation for both of them.

Finally, Dan appears and hesitates in the doorway. He looks down at his feet, then meets Phil’s eyes. “Should I…” he gestures awkwardly at the light switch.

Phil nodded. “I just didn’t want you to walk into a dark room after your eyes adjusted to the light in the bathroom.”

Dan smiles. “That was nice of you.” He flips the light off and the room is plunged into near darkness again. Phil sees Dan’s dark shape move toward the bed and then feels the mattress give under his weight. The bedcovers move and he feels Dan’s body settle into the bed beside him, not touching but oh so near.

They’re both quiet for a long time, but neither of them falls asleep. They listen to each other breathe. Then Dan’s voice sounds nervous when he says quietly, “Would it be okay if I just … would it be okay if I kissed you? Because I’d really like to kiss you.”

Phil’s heart squeezes in his chest at the sweet innocence of that request. He blindly reaches out a hand and is lucky to meet one of Dan’s lying between them. He intertwines their fingers and says softly, “I’d really like that, too.”

Dan shuffles closer and hesitates. There’s a bit of laughter in his voice when he says, “Help me out a bit here? It’s dark as fuck and I can’t really tell where you are.”

Phil chuckles and scoots closer to Dan so that they’re now just barely touching along their bodies, and then he raises his hands to frame Dan’s face and leans forward. He doesn’t press their lips together, but hesitates there, letting Dan feel his breath so close, waiting for Dan to make that last little movement.

Dan leans in to close the distance, and his lips are slightly chapped as they press a butterfly touch to Phil’s then withdraw, but not too far. And then before Phil can catch his breath, Dan’s lips are back, his head tilting slightly to get a better angle, and this kiss is firmer, his lips parting slightly. Phil responds in kind, following Dan’s lead, and he feels a soft tongue swipe hesitantly against his bottom lip. This time he can’t hold back the groan, and he can feel Dan’s body quiver in response, moving closer so that they’re pressed tight together. Dan deepens the kiss, and Phil tries to stay passively responsive, not wanting to take control and push things too far. He knows Dan can probably feel his body’s obvious excited response, but there’s nothing he can do about that, so he tries not to worry about it. Dan’s had erections before, surely he understands. He just hopes it doesn’t scare Dan off, because these gentle but passionate kisses are absolute heaven. And then Dan shifts position a bit and Phil notices that he isn’t the only one experiencing that particular physiological problem. When they’re pressed together like this, it’s difficult to hide.

Dan’s lips are hot and eager as he kisses Phil over and over again, letting their lips part for brief moments only to start again as if he can’t bear to stay away. But eventually he does pull away, panting, and says in a slightly husky voice, “I think we should probably stop.”

Phil wants to cry out, “No!” but instead he just smiles, even though Dan probably can’t see it, and says, “Whatever you want, Dan. It’s all fine.” He feels like his entire body is buzzing with the thrill of Dan’s sweetly hungry kisses and he wants more more more, but he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

Dan hasn’t moved away, so he’s still aware of the warmth and nearness of the boy’s bare skin. It isn’t helping with his efforts to calm down. He rolls away to lie on his back and pants out, “You’re a really good kisser.”

Dan sounds shy when he says, “Thanks. So are you.” A silence stretches between them, disturbed only by the sounds of their heavy breathing as it begins to slow.

“Just so you know,” Dan whispers, “I **do** still want to jump you. A lot. And … all the stuff I said on Skype. I do want that. I’m just…” He hesitates, as if uncertain how to explain.

“Don’t worry, Dan,” Phil replies gently. “You’re worth waiting for.”

They lie together in the dark for a long time, and after a while Phil hears Dan’s breath even out and decides that he’s fallen asleep. It takes Phil longer, but eventually he too drifts off.

He dreams of chapped lips and shy eyes and golden skin. They’re good dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there will be just one more chapter.
> 
> Feedback feeds the author! Without it, we starve, and then there's no more fic for you to read! So give Kudos, write a Comment, or somehow let me know if you liked it.


	3. Sofa to Manchester Piccadilly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Dan to go home. Nobody is happy about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch out: this chapter has some non-explicit fully clothed sexy times. Not exactly smut, but ... sexy times.
> 
> Oh, and I'm too lazy to look up what time Dan's train was actually scheduled to leave Manchester on October 21. For the purposes of this fic, I'm saying sometime in the late afternoon. It's fiction, ya know?

Dan’s train home isn’t until Sunday afternoon, so they decided to spend that last morning cuddled on the sofa, marathoning old Buffy episodes, because they’ve both seen them before and so it doesn’t matter if they miss long sections of plot when they start making out.

Which happens frequently.

Phil lies on the couch with Dan lying on top of him, a blanket pulled over them for warmth … though they’re doing a pretty good job of generating their own warmth whenever Dan initiates another bout of kissing.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Phil says softly while Buffy and her pals are battling some Native American ghosts over Thanksgiving dinner on the television screen. His arms are around Dan, but he’s making sure not to hold him too tightly, like Dan is made of something delicate and breakable. This whole weekend, he’s been careful to let Dan set the pace of things between them, not wanting to spook him, not wanting to push him into anything he isn’t ready for.

And it seems that what Dan is ready for is lots and lots of kissing.

They played some video games yesterday and watched a movie, though Phil can’t remember what it was, because he’d been far more aware of the boy curled up against him than anything happening on the television. They filmed a Q&A video for Phil’s YouTube channel, and that was fun. They ordered pizza—Phil remembers that there was pizza. But mostly he remembers the kissing. To be honest, they probably spent the majority of yesterday kissing. By dinner time, he’d noticed that the skin around Dan’s mouth was slightly red, and he’d gone to have a second shave of the day just to try to make sure that he didn’t send Dan home to his parents with obvious evidence of what had been going on while their baby boy was away visiting the mysterious creeper from the Internet.

Dan raises his head from where it has been resting on Phil’s chest and meets Phil’s eyes. He looks sad. “I don’t want to leave, either. I wish we could stay here like this forever.” He shifts a little, scooting up so he can reach Phil’s lips, and kisses him slowly, as if he is savoring this so he’ll be able to remember it while they’re apart. At least, that’s what Phil imagines he’s doing, because that’s how he feels himself.

When they’d planned this visit, both of them excited to finally meet in the real world, their Skype calls had mostly consisted of innocuous chatting interspersed with suggestive flirting. He’d felt close to Dan, felt excited and nervous to meet him, hoping Dan would like him, but … Phil hadn’t expected to feel this intense connection. They’re already making plans for when they can see each other again, and it’s only a couple weeks away at the YouTube Halloween gathering in London, but right now a couple weeks apart feels interminable.

“We can Skype every day,” he says, trying to sound less mournful than he feels.

“And I can come to visit again in a few weeks,” Dan isn’t as good at hiding his sadness. “If my parents let me.” Then he adds darkly, “They’d better let me. Or I’ll sneak out when they aren’t looking. I **will** come back in a few weeks.”

The words just remind Phil how young Dan is, just barely 18, still accustomed to his parents controlling what he does and rebellious against their potential interference. Phil hugs him a little tighter, and Dan kisses him again, his mouth warm and welcoming. The kiss escalates pretty quickly and soon Dan is twisting to get into a better position on top of Phil, their legs tangling together, hips lining up in a way that makes Phil bite his lip in anticipation.

While Dan has been reticent about taking things much further than just kissing, he doesn’t seem to have much of a problem with rubbing himself against Phil like a cat in heat when they’re making out. It’s deliciously frustrating. Enough to get Phil so worked up he can barely see straight, but not enough to actually get him off. Tonight, after Dan leaves, he’ll probably wank himself raw just remembering how it felt. He likes to think Dan will be doing the same in Wokingham.

Maybe they could Skype while they do it.

No, that’s probably too much right now. But … maybe eventually. Cybersex isn’t as good as the real thing, but it can still be fun. And he thinks Dan would probably like it, given what a flirty little shit he is on camera.

But right now, he has Dan actually pressed on top of him, kissing him, thrusting his hips in minute movements as if unaware he’s already doing it. Phil tries to stop thinking about the fact that Dan is leaving in just a couple hours, stop thinking about how he’ll get through the time apart, and just focus on how real and **here** Dan is right this very moment. He can angst about the separation once Dan is gone—right now Dan is here and Phil wants to focus on him with all his senses, store up as much information as possible for after he’s left.

Dan pulls his mouth away to mutter against Phil’s lips, “Jesus, Phil. You get me so turned on.” He presses his hips down more firmly and Phil can feel how hard he is already. He twines a hand into Dan’s hair and pulls him down into a passionate kiss. He’s been trying not to do this—not take control, trying to always let Dan choose how far they go and how fast—but Dan’s words tighten every muscle in his body and make his control slip a little, just for a minute.

He gasps and releases Dan’s hair, slowing the kiss back to something more languid, but Dan pulls away to whisper, “Don’t stop. I liked it.” So Phil winds his fingers back into Dan’s hair, and Dan groans, “Yes,” against his lips before intensifying their kiss. He’s writhing against Phil with more purpose now, his uncoordinated grinding turning into proper thrusts that set off sparks all the way to Phil’s fingertips. His hold on Dan’s hair tightens a bit and he arches his back off the couch to get closer. Dan is basically fucking his mouth with his tongue now, just slick and smooth and fast and god!

Dan’s thrusts speed up, his hips grinding hard and rhythmic against Phil’s, and it feels incredible. Phil is desperate to slide his hands down to grasp Dan’s ass, but neither of them has let their hands wander below the waist yet and he doesn’t want to do anything to startle Dan into pulling away, doesn’t want this to stop. He lets Dan set the pace, and that pace seems to be speeding up.

Suddenly, Dan pulls his lips away, panting, and presses his face into the side of Phil’s neck. “Oh god,” he gasps, almost directly into Phil’s ear, and Phil can feel Dan’s breath hot against his skin. “Jesus. Oh god. Oh fuck!” And then Dan throws his head back with a loud groan, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He thrusts hard a few more times, gradually slowing down, and then goes completely limp, basically just collapsing on top of Phil, his face hidden again in Phil’s neck.

Phil doesn’t want to embarrass Dan, so he doesn’t comment on the fact that Dan has obviously just come in his pants while they were dry humping. He just lies there and enjoys the relaxed weight of Dan on top of him. And wills his own insistent, throbbing, inconveniently persistent erection to subside.

After a long silence in which they both lie completely still and silent, Dan mumbles, “Okay. So that was the most embarrassing thing ever.”

Phil lets his hands caress Dan’s back slowly, gently, and says, “It wasn’t embarrassing. It was **hot**.”

Dan raises his head to meet Phil’s gaze with the most adorably hesitant expression Phil has seen yet. “Yeah?” he asks, sounding like he doesn’t believe it.

Phil kneads the muscles of Dan’s back gently, still restraining himself from reaching down to that amazing ass, and assures him, “You’ve given me wank material for at least the next couple years.”

Dan blushes, laughing, and ducks his head into Phil’s neck again. Then he says in his scared little boy voice, “But you haven’t…”

Phil hurries to reassure him. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine, Dan. I got to make you come, got to watch you. That was basically the best thing ever.”

Dan presses his face harder into Phil’s neck, hiding his expression. Then suddenly he giggles.

“What’s so funny?” Phil asks.

“I don’t have any more clean underwear with me,” Dan explains. “I’m going to have to sit for hours on the train in these boxers.” He laughs.

Phil shrugs. “Just borrow some of mine.”

Dan raises his head to look at Phil again. “Really?”

“Why not?” Then Phil smiles devilishly. “I kind of like the idea of my underwear touching parts of you I haven’t gotten to yet.”

Dan giggles again and grins at him. “You are so weird.”

Phil grins back. “You love it.”

* * *

Standing on the platform at Manchester Piccadilly, Phil feels like his heart is being torn from his chest. Dan is staring up at him with sad puppy dog eyes, looking like he might actually cry.

“I really want to kiss you,” Dan whispers.

Phil looks around at the crowded train station. “Probably not a good idea,” he whispers back.

Dan looks down at his shoes and says, “I know.”

Phil pulls him into his arms and hugs him tight, Dan’s arms immediately wrapping around him to clutch his t-shirt as if he never wants to let go. If he feels anything like Phil does, then he **doesn’t** want to let go. If only they could just go back to the sofa and cuddle under the blanket forever and pretend like the rest of the world doesn’t exist.

But Dan’s parents are expecting him back tonight, and Phil’s parents will be getting home from their trip. And … the real world is horrible but unavoidable.

“Halloween in London,” Phil says, trying to sound upbeat for Dan’s sake. He doesn’t think he succeeds very well. “It’s not that far away.”

They pull apart and Dan is gazing up at him again. An announcement comes over the intercom. Dan’s train is going to be leaving in a few minutes, so he really needs to board.

“Fuck it,” Phil says in frustration, and he leans down and gives Dan a quick but thorough kiss. The smile that beams up at him when he pulls away makes the public display worth it.

“Skype tonight?” Dan asks plaintively, and Phil nods.

“Of course. It doesn’t matter how late—I’ll wait up.” He pauses, then smirks. “And I’ll be thinking about you wearing my boxers the whole way home,” he quips to make Dan smile again. The boy laughs, and Phil picks up his duffel bag, handing it to him. “You’d better get on the train before it leaves without you.”

“Would that be so bad?” Dan whines.

“Yeah. Your parents might never let you come visit again,” Phil points out, trying to be the strong one for both of them.

Dan rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Okay.” His bottom lip is sticking out in the cutest pout Phil has ever seen. “Can I kiss you one more time?”

Phil doesn’t even hesitate this time before pulling him into his arms. Their lips meet, and it’s sweet and melancholy at the same time. Phil holds him close and just tries to memorize everything about him, how he feels and smells and looks and sounds. When they pull apart, Dan turns quickly and boards his train. He sits near a window and looks out at Phil, and Phil can’t tell from here but it looks like he might be crying.

Phil raises a hand in farewell as the train starts to move. Dan boarded just in time. Dan presses a hand to the window … and then Phil watches the train slowly leave the station, taking his Dan with it. Phil drops his hand to his side and just stares morosely at the ground for a minute.

He walks slowly to the bus stop, remembering flashes of moments from the weekend. Just … Dan’s wide eyes at the Sky Bar, holding hands for the first time in his bedroom, the hesitant feel of Dan’s lips that first time in his bed, the warmth of him under the blanket on the sofa, his laughter when they were filming the Q&A video.

That will be fun to edit. And it will be something Phil can watch when he needs a Dan fix between now and Halloween.

When the bus comes to take him home, he finds a seat and settles in, taking out his phone and composing a tweet so that Dan will see it and they won’t feel so far apart. Then he puts his phone back in his pocket and begins counting down the days to Halloween.

Only a couple weeks, he tells himself. But it feels like forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End! Hope you liked it!

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback feeds the author! Kudos and comments are much appreciated! If you liked this, check out my numerous other phanfics on this site. Also, you can find me on Tumblr at [adorkablephil](http://adorkablephil.tumblr.com/) if you so desire. Feel free to drop by and say hello!


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